In Obedience, Build Ministry: A Testimony of Surrender, Healing, and Finding My True Purpose

When God Showed Me What I Was Still Carrying

This past week, as I entered a fast leading up to Resurrection Sunday, I thought I was coming to God from a place of discipline. Instead, I found myself coming to Him with baggage I truly believed I had already let go of. And in His grace, He showed me—I hadn’t fully surrendered it.

During this fast, I laid everything at His feet—my past trauma, abuse, the pressure to perform, to be “enough,” and the weight I’ve carried for years trying to hold everything together. I realized that while I had done healing work, much of it had only touched the surface. There were still deeper places in me that needed pruning, refining, and restoration. That truth was hard—but freeing. It reminded me that I am still a work in progress. I still mess up, but I have also grown—and I am continuing to grow.

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

The Search for Purpose and the Deception I Didn’t See

For a long time, I believed I was searching for purpose in a genuine and spiritual way. But the truth is—I fell into New Age practices unknowingly, ignorant to how deep I was being pulled in. What I thought was spiritual growth, what I believed was bringing me closer to God, was actually leading me further away—into the ways of the world, into sin, and into subtle rebellion against Him.

Looking back, I can see how my past trauma and desire to belong made me vulnerable. It fed a false sense of knowledge and a false sense of freedom. I was searching for identity and healing, but not in truth. I was also running—from church hurt, from religion, and from expectations I didn’t fully understand—and in doing so, I ran straight into something that looked like light, but was not.

But God, in His mercy, did not leave me there. He convicted me, pulled me back, and opened my eyes. I made the decision to fully re-dedicate my life to Christ. I began to purge everything in my life that was tied to witchcraft, deception, and rebellion—not just physical things, but mindsets, habits, and patterns. Even now, He continues to prune me, refining my thoughts, my habits, and the subtle idols I didn’t even recognize. Anything that does not represent His Kingdom cannot remain.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” — Romans 12:2

What I once thought was freedom was actually bondage. What I have now, through Christ, is true freedom.

Learning to Slow Down and Listen

One of the greatest lessons God revealed to me during this fast as well as for the last year was to slow down. I don’t need to have all the answers right now, and I don’t need to force clarity. Sometimes His answer is simply “wait.” I’ve learned that a “wait” from God is not a curse—it’s a blessing. I was often filled with anxiety, fear, and constant worry which led to overthinking and overanylzing situation in efforts to somehow control outcomes. I learned that it is protection, preparation, and alignment in His timing, not my own. When I slow down enough, I can hear His voice more clearly—above other mental noise and I gain comfort knowing that guidance will turn out for my good. Be obiedent not only with his “yes” and “no”, but his “wait” as well with confidence and faith.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

The Tension Between Obedience and Opinion

I know what it feels like to hear God—and hesitate. Not because I don’t trust Him, but because I sometimes worry about what people will think. I overanalyze, and I delay. There is a constant tension between the voice of the Holy Spirit and the noise of the world. But God reminds me that His voice is not confusing, and that I am called to follow Him with trust and obedience.

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” — John 10:27

My Calling: Healing and Discipleship

Through this time with God, my calling became clearer than ever. I am called to make disciples.

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…” — Matthew 28:19

And God has shown me that my ministry begins with healing women—including myself. Through Services By Kim and Project Flourish, this work is not just business. It is ministry. It is a place where women can come and simply be—to be wrapped in God’s love, surrounded by His compassion, and held through safe, intentional healing touch. It is a space where soft Christian hymns play in the background, where there is no pressure to perform, and where if tears begin to fall, they are free to fall.

Because healing is not just physical—it is spiritual. It is identity. It is restoration.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3

From Performance to Presence

For much of my life, I lived in performance—trying to prove my worth and earn my place. But God is calling me into presence. To be with Him, to trust Him, and to move when He says move—even when it doesn’t make sense. Not perfectly, but faithfully.

An Invitation to Surrender

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong, if you’ve carried pain you thought you already healed, or if you’ve questioned your purpose, I want you to know that you are not behind—you are being refined. God is not asking you to have it all together. He is asking you to surrender.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7

This Is Just the Beginning

This is not the end of my story—it is the beginning of alignment. And my prayer is that every woman who encounters this work doesn’t just experience healing, but encounters God. Because the true purpose is this: to come, to be restored, and then to go and make disciples. 🤍

May God continue to bless you… From Kimberly Coleman

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